#2. Does your partner refuse to be accountable for his or
her bad behavior? (For example, "You made me so mad that I couldn't help...") <--- and I'm sorry, but how
Did I already say that?
My husband is smarter than to say "You MADE me..." He just never
apologizes, or ever admits fault so when something goes wrong, he's never the one at fault.
This has actually, now that I'm convinced my husband is a narcissist, made me realize that when he is never wrong, it makes me push really hard the other way and then He'll accuse me of "thinking I'm always right" and that "I never apologize". I frequently apologize. I know I'm wrong. A lot. One of the biggest lessons I've learned and try to implement is that it's okay to apologize to your kids when you over react and may act too harshly. I do. I have. I always will. I'm not perfect by any means and I don't even try to pretend that I am.
Husband, however never apologizes. It's always because of their behavior that he loses his temper. Just last night at dinner, and after a long day, I snapped at my son and then he sassed back in the same tone as I snapped at him ,and then husband read him the riot act. I then pointed out that I started it because of my tone to begin with.
So this leads us to #3. Does your partner believe he or she is always right?
Yes, yes and YES.
I keep saying that.
Home, work, church, in-laws, out laws, ex's current wife...you name it and they're wrong and he's right.
How did I fall for this? How did I not see that after three (3) failed marriages, he didn't just simply pick really bad women and not realize that he IS the common denominator.
If I can manage to get through all 50 on this checklist without interjecting that I must be naive and co-dependent and a empath/fixer to have attracted him to me, I'll tell you my part in this toxic relationship. I'm learning my part and am trying to correct some of the behaviors that exacerbate his personality disorder. Until then, I'll just say that I'm trying to stop my habit of fixing.
Next week, #4 Is your partner unable to tune in to your feelings or the feelings of your children?
I think you know that answer...
Is my partner a Narcissist? Part 1 Is my partner a Narcissist? Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6