Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Is my Partner a Narcissist? part 3

 Continuing on with the Narcissism checklist, question #4 is:Is your partner unable to tune in to your feelings or your children’s feelings?



I think that of all of the checklist points thus far, this is the most difficult for me.
 I also think that this is what causes the most contention in our house.  Husbands inability to understand or care to understand anyone's feelings is one of the more hurtful realities.  And then when he is callous and harsh with the children, I go into Momma Bear mode and I stand up for the child and because narcissists can't handle any form of criticism (or perceived criticism) he puffs up and gets all up in my grill and because I don't back down when it comes to the kids all hell breaks loose.

Lovely.

I have never regretted sticking up for a child. Ever. 

The only regret is when I don't.  That has happened I think once. It won't happen again. Instead of calling him out, I was just too tired to engage in a fight and I just tried to minimize his big jerk attitude toward my daughter. I just tried to smooth it over with her instead of calling him out. I know that because I regret it and I won't do that again. I'll stick up no matter the cost.

What's the cost of not being in tune with children's feelings?  They don't show them to you. They don't think that what they're feeling matters. They repress their own because they have no outlet.  They dabble. They will find a way to express them, but unfortunately, those ways are not always healthy ways. Or they have repressed their feelings for so many years that when asked their feelings, they melt into a puddle of tears.  Or screams.

Narcissism is pride. Pure unrighteous pride and the only antidote is humility. So when my husband is being softened regularly through spiritual means, he's better to live with. If he gets into a spiritual rut, it's a living hell.

How bad is it that sometimes I feel like my kids would be better off living with their bio dad than to be brought up by the husband? Bad. I'd rather divorce again than have them be scarred by him.

Not an easy topic, but a necessary one.

Again, what's my part?  Well, obviously I don't make his choices. I don't control him. I don't read minds. And if we're telling the truth, things would be better if I did. Was that narcissistic of me?! Probably. We can all show those traits at times. I know that reading over the list sure hit home with me in a few areas. If we strive to stay humble, it's just better all the way around. Can you imagine a world where everyone is humble? That's a nice thought...

Stay humble my friends.

3 comments:

  1. He called my daughter not once but twice a "little fucka" the first time he told her fuck you and your gramma. The 2nd time He called me and her 2 fuckas!! When do you draw the line of disrespect..she is only 10 and has been thru so much emotional trauma because of my wrong doings and my addictions..She is a great kid with a beautiful Spirit..but that's what he does..He destroys the beauty in your soul.. By drowning you with the guilt trip of what about his feelings.. Umm you are 30 soon to be 31..living off of DHS and insecure vulnerable woman becuzz he is too lazy to work or show any type of Manly Traits of providing without living off the state..he is such a leach that he will manipulate any situation just to insure his well being. His happiness..He will not hesitate to cut off any person in his life that does not secure his need to survive the easiest way possible, so he does not have to work..and can stay home all day watching TV, eating, playing video games and smoking weed..That's his life's goals right there.Using people to his advantage without any regard to their feelings or how painful his actions against them has affected there well being and mental state of sanity... Common Textbook Narcissist..What a waste of a great guy #heclaims snicker snicker ;)

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  2. Cont..I forgot to add I'm talking about my ex boyfriend..and will never again be a part of my daily existence.. #disroyalty86

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  3. Really so glad that he's your ex and will never be a part of your life again. So glad you got out of that situation.

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